A roundup of late-night jokes

A roundup of late-night jokes about Obama's victory and the 2008 election outcome:

"Ladies and gentlemen, Barack Obama is our new president. And I think I speak for most Americans when I say, anybody mind if he starts a little early?" --David Letterman

"You know, do you realize this is our first black president since the first season of '24'?" --Jay Leno

"And people were worried about the Bradley effect. Apparently, it was not nearly as strong as the effect" --Jay Leno

"Last night, after Barack Obama was declared the winner, President Bush called Obama, promised to work with him to guarantee a smooth transition. Yeah. Yeah, when we heard this, Obama said, 'Thanks, but you've done enough.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Did you see the concession speech last night? John McCain was generous. He was gracious. He was statesman-like. And I was thinking well, he should have tried that earlier." --David Letterman

"I would like to say one thing to Senator John McCain. Listen, senator, you don't show up for me, America doesn't show up for you." --David Letterman

"But right about now Joe the plumber is meeting with his transition team. They're going to help ease him from obscurity back to oblivion." --David Letterman

"And, of course, it was a huge celebration over at Barack Obama headquarters, otherwise known as MSNBC." --Jay Leno

"At the end of the evening, the electoral vote count was 349 for Obama, 148 for McCain. Or, as Fox News says, too close to call." --David Letterman

"President Bush called Sen. Obama last night to congratulate him and this is an actual quote. He said, 'What an awesome night for you and your family.' I think his eloquence is what we will remember most about Bush." --Jimmy Kimmel

"How about Sarah Palin, ladies and gentlemen. Right now on her way back to Alaska. And I'm thinking oh, I wouldn't want to be a moose now." --David Letterman

"But on the bright side, at least now Tina Fey can spend Saturdays with her family again, so that's a good deal." --David Letterman

"You know who is really, really happy that John McCain did not win last night? The boyfriend of Sarah Palin's daughter. He doesn't have to get married now. 'Whew, thank God!'" --Jay Leno

"Actually, Sarah Palin was pretty upset last night. Did you see her? Yeah, well, she wasn't upset because she lost. Now she's got to give all of her clothes back." --Jay Leno

"A lot of speculation about Sarah Palin's future, but last night, she denied rumors that she's getting ready to run for president in 2012. Palin said, 'That’s a long time away. I'll be a great-grandmother by then.'" --Conan O'Brien

"During the concession speech, every time that McCain would mention Barack Obama, people booed. And finally, McCain could not ignore it any longer, and he had to stop the speech. He said, 'All right, that’s enough, Hillary.'" --David Letterman

"Late last night, Sen. Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of these United States. And even if you are a Republican or a member of one of the small crazy people parties, you could find something to be happy about, whether it's that we have our first-ever African-American president or even that we have our first vice president with hair plugs." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Hundreds of thousands of people turned out for Obama’s victory rally in Chicago. But there was an awkward moment when Obama put on a hat that said “proud to be Muslim” and screamed, 'Suckas!'" --Conan O'Brien

"Obama thanked the President for his call and for all he did to help him get elected." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Hey if you think about it, President Bush is at least partially responsible for us having our first black president, so never let it be said he didn't accomplish anything. Maybe George Bush doesn't hate black people after all." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Bush invited Obama to come visit him at the White House, which was a nice thing to do. He wants to show him, I guess, the presidential tree house and teach him how to turn the Oval Office couch cushions into a fort. All the fun stuff." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The real challenge, though, is for Joe Biden because he's got to figure out how to get Dick Cheney out of the vice presidential mansion. As you know, Dick Cheney is armed and has a history of shooting old men." --Jimmy Kimmel

"See, I got to admit, as a comedian, I'm gonna miss President Bush. Because Barack Obama is not easy to do jokes about. He doesn't give you a lot to go on. See, this is why God gave us Joe Biden." --Jay Leno

"Really, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States of America. ... Obama is also the first Democrat to receive more than 50 percent of the vote since Jimmy Carter, the first senator to be elected since Jack Kennedy, the first Muslim to be ... I said too much." --Jon Stewart (Watch video clip)