A Gay Viewer's Guide to the Beijing Olympics
For gay men, the eye candy factor at any Olympics is stunning – well-conditioned athletes of all shapes, sizes and colors on display, in various stages of dress (albeit in sports we mostly ignore save for two weeks every four years).
It’s not the ancient Greek ideal of competing naked, but it’s not too far behind.
But with the Beijing Games starting today and featuring 302 events in 28 sports taking place over 16 days and generating thousands of hours of television, how is a gay viewer to know which events to tune into? Relax. We’re here with our highly selective guide to the Olympics to help you know which gay athletes (okay, the one out male athlete) to cheer for, which sports show the most skin, and a variety of other factoids and tidbits to make these your best Olympics yet!
Opening and closing ceremonies
No doubt, plenty of gay men will tune in to see the pageantry of the opening ceremonies on August 8 and not check back until the closing ceremonies two weeks later.
Film director Zhang Yimou (Raise the Red Lantern) is the creative mind behind the opening ceremony extravaganza. Not much has been leaked about the creative aspects of the ceremonies (secrets in China? No!), except that we should expect a lot of red. Both ceremonies take place in Beijing National Stadium, or “The Bird Nest,” which is exactly what the stadium looks like. And doubtlessly, more than one gay Chinese man will have had a hand in bringing that pageantry to life.
Date and time: The opening ceremonies will, famously, be on 08/08/08, and NBC will air them in primetime that night. The closing ceremonies are the night of Aug. 24.
Beijing National Stadium (a.k.a “The Bird Nest”)
Speedos leave little to the imagination
Many people think swimming when they think of skin in sports. But it’s diving that really delivers the goods. All divers wear the Speedo brief and stand erect at a platform 3 to 10 meters above the water. Canada’s Alexandre Despatie has such a strong gay following that he made the first annual AfterElton.com Hot 100 list back in 2007. A gold medal at the Beijing Games could send him springing back onto the list for 2009.
Event not to miss: If you only set your DVR to record one diving event, be sure to make it for the Men’s Platform finals on August 23rd!
Alexandre Despatie
Then again, so do gymnasts’ tights
Gymnasts also show a lot of skin, wearing incredibly tight pants and tank tops, their muscles bulging as they soar through the air. Of course, they’re all barely above 5 feet, but they make up for it with possibly the most sculpted bods of any athletes.
In some events the gymnasts wear leggings (parallel bars), but in others many wear the shortest of shorts (floor exercise) as they jump, tumble, and do the splits. We give this event a perfect 10 out of 10.
Beach volleyball is also a must for shorts enthusiasts as are the Track & Field. And we’d be remiss if we failed to mention men’s wrestling, which simply oozes with homoeroticism.
Events not to miss: The all-around gymnastic titles will be decided live on the nights of Aug. 13 and 14 around 1am ET. In primetime, on Aug. 17 are the floor exercises, and on Aug. 18 is the ultimate test of strength: The rings. But as gymnastics is a featured sport, it will be in primetime most every night.
Sport with the most hidden roughness
In a water polo match, much of the action takes place underwater, where players grab, gouge and kick each other. Think the Eagle in New York on any Saturday night. Play gets so rough that some players wear two sets of swim trunks since the first one is often yanked off. We’re just saying…
Event not to miss: The U.S. opens play against host China on NBC Aug. 10. The men’s gold medal match will be on NBC the afternoon of Aug. 24.
Who’s in, who’s out.
There were 11 out athletes at the 2004 Summer Olympics; this year, it’s only five (so far) and three are American, but they are all women.
Australian diver Matthew Mitcham leads the pack with his six-pack. He’s also the only out male we know of, which is hugely depressing. Mitcham will be competing in both the 3m springboard and 10m platform events and has a legitimate shot at a medal, having finished fifth earlier this year in Beijing at the World Cup.
Matthew Mitcham
Event not to miss: Men’s individual diving preliminaries start Aug. 18 on the 3m springboard. It’s 50-50 whether Mitcham will make it out of prelims or not.
Eight is enough
Eight is also the number of gold medals American swimmer Michael Phelps is shooting for during these games, which would be a record. Sports Illustrated, in its Olympics preview issue, had stunning shots of the 6-4, 195-pound Phelps, with close-ups of his amazing back, abs and other body parts. Buy the issue just for these shots.
Michael Phelps
Event not to miss: We will find out just how golden Michael Phelps is on Aug. 15. His final race, the men’s 4X100m medley relay, will be swum between 10pm and midnight ET.
Best inadvertent name change
U.S. sprinter Tyson Gay is a favorite to win the men’s 100 meters (though a leg injury may hamper his chances). When Gay set a record recently, the news website of the anti-gay American Family Association, which uses a search-and-replace filter, referred to him as “Tyson Homosexual.” He was running so fast that one reference called him a “flaming Homosexual.”
Tyson Gay
Event not to miss: The men’s 100m final will be on NBC Aug. 16, starring “Homosexual” and two Jamaicans: Asafa Powell and Usain Bolt.
Baseball and softball strike out
This will be the last time baseball and softball are played in the Olympics, as the International Olympic Committee voted to remove it for the 2012 Games. It was the first time they took this step since removing polo in 1936. Lesbians around the world are in mourning.
Event not to miss: The baseball gold-medal game will be Aug. 23 on USA, though on Aug. 13, a preliminary game between Cuba and Japan could be great. The softball finals are Aug. 21 on USA.
Family affair
Gymnastics’ Hamm twin brothers, Morgan and Paul, were the toast of the media in 2004, winning the team silver while Paul took the all-around gold. This time around, the Lopez taekwondo trio of Mark, Diana and Steven will get lots of attention.
(L to R) Steven, Diana & Mark Lopez

While they’re not triplets, they are brothers and sisters, and darn good-looking ones at that. Also, watch for the French Guenot brothers in wrestling. Very hot! Incidentally, while Morgan Hamm will be in Beijing, Paul has been sidelined by injuries and will be watching from home.
The Guenot brothers: Steeve (left) and Christophe

Event not to miss: There is no taekwondo slated for TV, but NBCOlympics.com will show it Aug. 19-23. MSNBC will air Greco-roman wrestling, and the Guenot’s weight classes (66kg and 74kg) are on Aug. 12-13.
Sport with the least eye candy
Fencing takes the honor here. The suits fencers wear are somewhat bulky, and to protect the face, masks are worn. Watching it, you don’t know if you’ll see Quasimodo or Prince Charming when the mask comes off.
Event not to miss: Men’s fencing culminates on MSNBC Aug. 17 and will be shown online every day of the first week.
Most underrated sport for Americans
Badminton in the U.S. usually involves playing a friendly backyard game against an uncle, beer in hand. Competitive badminton, though, takes amazing coordination and athleticism. Shuttlecocks can be served at up to 200 mph. Asian countries tend to dominate the sport with badminton matches getting front-page play in countries like Indonesia.
Event not to miss: It’ll be tough to find badminton coverage on TV, but NBCOlympics.com will have the mixed doubles and men’s doubles finals early morning Aug. 16. For our money, the doubles are even better than the singles.
Coolest team sport you never heard of
The only team sport in which the U.S. doesn’t have a team at the Olympics is team handball (yes, handball). Very popular in Europe, handball is played by seven players per side (including a goalie) and involves bouncing and throwing a small ball through a goal. If you enjoy watching athletic Swedes and Germans, handball is your sport. In 2004, NBC showed many matches in their entirety.
Event not to miss: On Aug. 10, the 2004 men’s gold medallists from Croatia play early in the morning on NBC. The men’s gold medal will be decided in the early morning of Aug. 24 on USA Network.
Most gender-confused Olympic sport
The coxless pairs rowing. Sounds painful.
Event not to miss: There are so many rowing events, it’s hard to pick just one. Rowing events take place virtually daily from Aug. 9-18.
New friends, waiting on Facebook
With so many Olympians being high school and college-age, it’s no surprise that you can find many on Facebook. See somebody you’d like to say hi to? Go for it. You can find diving buddies Thomas Finchum (who logs on regularly) and David Boudia, cyclist Taylor Phinney, swimmers Garrett Weber-Gale, Nathan Adrian, and Luca Marin, Gymnast Raj Bhavsar, and many more.
Diver and Facebook fan Thomas Finchum

Photo credit: Jamie Squire/Getty Images
Event not to miss: Finchum and Boudia will compete in the 10m platform synchronized diving, and the gold medal will be awarded in primetime Aug. 11 on NBC.
Rain is the least of their worries
If you tune in to an event and wonder why it’s been postponed, chances are it wasn’t rain. The Chinese claim to have a system that will destroy clouds and prevent rain from falling on the opening or closing ceremonies.
If only they had a system to get rid of the pollution that threatens to postpone events. How serious is the pollution problem? Just two weeks before the Games, on July 27, visibility in the city was reportedly just a few hundred meters and some Track and Field athletes are reportedly doing shorter events for fear of damaging their lungs.
Worst trend
The full-body swimsuit. Swimmers love them because they set world records, but aesthetically they are a disaster. Oh, for the days when everyone wore a Speedo.
Event not to miss: The water polo players and divers stick to the classic skimpy Speedo, so you’ll have to catch swimming in primetime every night the first week of the Games.
Most anachronistic sport
Modern pentathlon. The events are epee fencing, pistol shooting, 200-meter freestyle swimming, show jumping on horseback, and a 3 km cross-country run. Sounds like something out of the 19th century, which it is.
It was invented by Pierre de Coubertin, founder of the modern Games, to simulate the skills needs for a cavalry officer. There have been repeated calls to take it out of the Olympics since it has such a small following. For today’s culture, may we suggest replacing the pentathlon with Wii bowling?
Event not to miss: The women’s event will be broadcast on MSNBC the morning of Aug. 22; for the men, you’ll have to tune in online Aug. 20-21.
For more Olympics coverage and gay-sports news, check out Outsports.com and their Olympics 2008 blog.